1. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
2. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
3. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
4. Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
5. Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
6. A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
7. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
8. Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
9. Chuck Norris doesn’t play “hide-and-seek.” He plays “hide-and-pray-I-don’t-find-you.”
10. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Be safe, boys and girls. Be safe.
Thanks to Kami for the heads-up. This information was taken from Chuck Norris’ Twitter; jealously admitted, I did not write it. Follow Chuck Norris on Twitter here (if Chuck Norris allows you the privilege to keep living).
I am turning into an old un-hip adult who doesn’t know what is cool and that sort of makes me sad. I just recently found out that Chuck Norris & his jokes are cool amongst the young hipster types. Next I’ll be hiking up my high-waisted jeans and muttering about how fast those crazy kids are driving.
I had no idea of the respect you had for Chuck, and the respect I need to have for him.
#10 is my favorite. Long Live Chuck Norris!
Happy Weekend Miss Tiffany!
chuck norris doesn’t catch a cold, the cold catches chuck norris
Chuck Norris also sells a whole lotta Total Gyms! Me and my love for the infomercials! Have a great weekend!
this post is almost as awesome as chuck norris himself.
i have to share this with my bff. she loves chuck norris.
There is no “endangered species” list. Only a bunch of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
I have a book of these! So funny. My brother Courtney found it at a Barnes and Noble and bought if for me for Christmas. One of my favorites from the book is, “Chuch Norris hid in Al Capone’s vault for 20 years just to give Geraldo Rivera the surprise beating of a lifetime.” Surprise beating of a lifetime is one of the best phrases ever written. I highly recommend the book, with one caution, some of the entries are pretty filthy. I took a black marker and did some editing in my copy.
Love, love, love this post. The Chuck Norris jokes are endless. Aren’t his legs both named Law and Order? I’m so going to have to copy this idea for a future post.
Why are all jokes about Chuck Norris hilarious?
I freaking love Chuck Norris.
He scares me. But I dig that.