Here’s a simple idea that Alison taught me. It’s perfect to make for breakfast for the child who refuses to eat cold cereal. I have one of those and it’s so endearing annoying.
First, take a slice of bread and a cookie cutter. I use a heart shape because I want my child to remember that I love him while he’s eating. And also because I only have a heart shape cookie cutter.
Use the cookie cutter to create a hole in the middle of the bread. Then call over your shoulder to tell your child to turn off Spongebob Squarepants and get dressed for school.
Next, butter the bottom of a medium-high pan and put your hole-y bread in. Crack an egg and pour the egg guts into the hole and then yell at your child to find his lunchbox.
Add some salt and pepper and ask your child if he is listening because you just asked him to get his lunchbox for crying out loud!
After a minute or so, use a spatula to flip it over and tell your child that his shirt is on backwards. And upside down.
Cook on the flip side until the egg white is firm, but the yolk part is runny and saucy. Then yell at your child to find his socks and shoes. (Please don’t go all maverick on me and leave out any of the yelling. The yelling is the most important part of this dish. It simply won’t taste the same without it.)
Once cooked, remove to a plate and then toast the cut-out piece of bread while you shout to your child that it is not your responsibility to keep track of his shoes and that you wouldn’t be a good parent if you did.
Display lovingly on a plate and shout up the stairs to your child that breakfast is ready and he’d better hurry or he’ll be late for school.
Pat yourself on the back because your child is actually fed and clothed before the bus arrives. Before he rushes out the door, yell that you love him very much and that he’d better stop dragging his coat on the ground because you just cleaned it!
Now do the dishes.
