1. When I’m watching TV and Lucy (my dog) is snuggled on my lap, I hold her close and nibble on her nails. It’s gross, I know, but I can’t stand to nibble my own nails and she seems to like it. Especially if it is during a scary show like The Bachelor.
2. When I use a public restroom, I can only use the third stall from the door. NO EXCEPTIONS. If there are only one or two stalls, I hold it. Once I’m in the stall—and before I begin taking care of business—I tap on either side of the stall wall and say in a low voice, “Get out while you can. They’re following me. If you knew what I know, you’d grab your purse and run. But don’t forget to wash your hands.” It usually works (except at Disneyland) and then I get the bathroom all to myself.
3. I make miniature dolls in the likeness of all my friends and family and keep them in my dresser drawer. When I get upset with someone in real life, I usually try to stay calm and shrug it off. And then I go home and burn their little look-alike on some tin foil in the garage. It makes me feel a lot better and usually nobody gets hurt.
4. Sometimes, just for fun, I sprinkle a little rat poison into my cookie dough. It doesn’t really cause any problems if you only have one or two cookies, and it’s a good reminder that cookies aren’t very good for you anyway.
5. If I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, I put on my coat and a gorilla mask and take a walk outside to get some fresh air. While I’m walking, I take a minute to peek into each of my neighbors’ windows to see if they are sleeping soundly, because I really care about my neighbors and I feel better knowing that they are getting their recommended hours of sleep.
OK, that was fun! And strangely liberating! We all have our little quirks. I’ve shared mine, now it’s your turn!
{P.S. Did you really believe me? Awww, that is so sweet!}
