Dear friends, family, and acquaintances of Tiffany,
Please excuse Tiffany’s neglect of your friendship. It is not because she doesn’t care, she just stinks at returning phone calls. And initiating phone calls.
She has also failed to reply to several e-mails, not because she doesn’t love you, but because her life has been consumed in the vortex of Trying To Set Up A Household. She has been the victim of several incompetent and evil service companies who prey on the innocent and unsuspecting. She was also held hostage briefly by an army of boxes filled with stuff that should have been thrown away years ago.
Please forgive her and know that as soon as the damn cable company gets out of her hair and life forever, she will be free once again to nurture the friendship with you that she so deeply values.
Thank you for your patience,