I was watching me some Oprah the other day, because I can’t get over my love/hate relationship with her. I’m drawn to her show like a moth to the flame, while complaining the whole way, “You’re no Larry King. You talk over people and constantly repeat the last few words they say as if it makes it more profound.”
So why do I keep turning it on, you ask? Clearly I’ve been hypnotized by her amazing hair and that adorable Nate Berkus.
Back to the story. Recently Oprah has been doing some shows about living with less, and they have been fascinating. It seems as though people all over the country are being inspired to downsize their lives, their spending, and their strain on the planet. (And you should see Madame Oprah’s utter disdain at every example of her guests’ excessive ways.) It’s a timely subject for me. Nobody has become more keenly aware of how much less they could be living with than I. In fact, the next time I drive a car load full of stuff to the local thrift store, I swear they are going to say, “Lady, you don’t have to give it ALL away.” And I’ll be like, “Tip of the iceberg, guys. Tip of the iceberg.”
So I’m watching the show the other day and getting pretty annoyed with myself, examining all the ways in which I exploit this life of excess and I get stopped in my tracks because I have suddenly realized the most obvious irony—
Um, hey, Oprah? I can see you’re into this Living on Less Philosophy, and I’m just curious—did you come up with it in your Chicago penthouse, your Santa Barbara mansion, or your Hawaiian plantation vacation home? Were you nibbling on a snack prepared by your personal chef? Or did it come up in a discussion with your live-in personal trainer, Bob Greene? Was it an AHA! Moment when you were purchasing your bu-jillionth pair of Christian Louboutin, red-bottomed shoes? Or when you were switching from your Prada handbag to your Louis Vuitton?
Here’s the deal, O: Let’s all live on less. You first.