the would-be writers guild

Yesterday, I ventured out into the snow-covered streets to run a quick errand. I had switched cars with Ryan early in the morning since he had to leave for work during the storm and therefore I was left with his cute-but-not-good-in-snow car. I got to my destination just fine and made it almost all the way home. Almost.

I pulled into my neighborhood and made the mistake of driving too slowly (for fear of slipping and sliding) and found myself stuck in the middle of the street near the church. I tried to push harder on the gas, but the wheels just spun in the eight inches of yucky-mucky snow and ice.

I turned my hazard lights on and waited for a kindly passer-by.

Less than a minute later, an SUV pulled up beside me and a kindly-looking man said, “You stuck?”

“Yep.” I said. “My wheels are just spinning in this snow. I slowed down too much and got stuck, but I think if I got a push I could get some momentum.”

He got out of his car and went to my bumper and pushed while I pressed my foot on the gas and leaned my head forward (because for some reason that makes me feel like I’m helping). I moved a few inches!

He stepped away from the bumper and I stuck my head out the window. I was ready for another push, or at least Plan B if he’d thought of one.

“I think you’re completely stuck.” he said.

Um, yeah. I was sort of aware of that before you got here.

“We moved a little bit,” I tried to interject.

“Where are you trying to go?” he asked.

“Just around this corner and then around the next one; only four or five houses away.” I could sense that he was preparing me for bad news.

“If I were you, I’d park in the church parking lot and just walk home. Then come back and get your car when this gets plowed.”

OK, so what I should do is drive my car that is “completely stuck” over to the church parking lot? Why didn’t I think of that? Although, if I could get the car to move, I’d probably do something totally ridiculous and drive it HOME!

Before I could say, “Thanks for nothing your help,” he was in his car and on his way. Honestly, I think he was there less than a minute.

Let’s do a quick recap, shall we? He recognizes someone in need, offers to help, burns ten calories, states the obvious, and then offers a ridiculously ineffective solution.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? The dude’s got a bright future in politics.

**Update: Another driver stopped a few minutes later and had my car out within a few minutes. I didn’t recognize her as my neighbor, but she said her name was Hillary.**

**Updated update: OK, I’m kidding about that last part. I did get helped by another motorist, but his name wasn’t Hillary. It was Ron Paul.**