I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but I really don’t enjoy winter. In fact, this year as January dumps more and more snow, I feel my sunny disposition being clouded out by its chilly wrath. Please don’t try and suggest that maybe I am subconsciously dealing with all the big life changes going on around here, because we already have one psychologist in the family and I’m telling you—it’s the arctic temperature that’s getting to me! It is! It is! It is!
Anyway, in order to add some fun to all the frost, I am announcing the first ever WBWG Winter Angst Poetry Competition! With prizes and everything! And confetti! (OK, you’ll just have to imagine the confetti!)
Here are the rules:
1. Send your original poetry to tiffany{at}wouldbewritersguild{dot}com. It can be any form of poetry you like—long, short, rhyme-y, moody, whatever (but remember that I’m partial to funny).
2. Make sure your poetry is ridden with hatred for winter. I don’t want to read about cute snowmen. Or happy, furry woodland creatures. Or the beauty of moonlight on fresh fallen snow. Blecht.
3. Seriously, don’t try to put some positive spin on all this frigid air. I’m warning you.
4. If you are a native of Florida, California, Arizona, or Hawaii you are automatically disqualified. (Well, OK, you’re not disqualified but you probably have no chance at seriously competing. Especially against a Canadian.)
5. Entries must be received by 11:00 p.m. tomorrow (January 31) Mountain Time.
6. Winners will be announced Friday, February 1 and poems will be posted for your reading pleasure.
And now for the prizes(!):
First prize: One TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLAR GIFT CARD TO TARGET! Wait—did I say “THOUSAND” right there? I meant “ORDINARY.”
Second prize: One TEN DOLLAR TARGET GIFT CARD!
Third prize: Three magnets from MY FRIDGE! Woot! Woot!
Honorable mention: One mention in the post. A really honorable one.
Fine print: Judging will be completely subjective and based on my own whims.
So, come one, come all! Tell your friends! Tell your family! Tell your bitter old Aunt Beulah! Give me your best January-can-stuff-it stuff! I’ll be waiting. Cold and shivering in the living room, but waiting…
have I ever mentioned how much I suck at poetry? especially funny poetry? my freshman creative writing professor will vouch for that. but I will see what I can do since I’m ready to kick January to the curb forever. . . how is there possibly still one more day left to squeeze out of this horrendous month?
I live in Florida, but I’m not a native Floridian. In fact, I grew up in Kansas where we had cold, snowy winters. And I walked to school in it! Up hill both ways!! (Okay, up hill just one way, but I did walk to school.)
And I meant to ask, as part of that comment, can I still compete?
Yes, anyone can enter! Even you warm people!
um, that first comment was me. . . not anonymous. But I’m sure you figured that part out.
I’m not the greatest poet. Like not even close to the greatest poet. Not even close to the almost greatest poet. But I happen to live in one of the coldest states in the country, so please give me bonus points for that, ok? Also, I am sick and tired of being cold, and I love Target. (Ok, so I’m sucking up, but hey whatever works. And everything is true, cross my heart. Did I mention you’re my favorite aunt?)
Can we write more than one entry? (Seriously, anything to keep me from writing this paper proposal!)
NEW RULE: NO MORE THAN THREE ENTRIES PER PERSON (since I have already received three entries from one participant!).
check your inbox for a poetic masterpiece. [har har.]
I think I will write a sonnet which is like a poem but is like a little song. Does this count?
No time to waste commenting. No time to write a poem, actually, but you pushed my button!
One angsty winter haiku, coming up!
The snow falls softly
Dammit, I’m sick of winter.
Oh look – more snow. Barf.