Poor Lucy Lohan. I think she was born without taste buds. (There’s a rumor that her great uncle was part goat.)
First she was into nicotine. (You can read about it here.)
Now she’s into the hard stuff.
No, not drugs. Quite literally, the hard stuff: small plastic toys, shoelaces, cotton balls, lids to pens, credit cards, tea lights, nickels, dimes, 3-D glasses, crayons, toenail clippings, and used band-aids. (I can only verify four of these items, but the others are being considered under suspicion.)
Yesterday she seemed morose, which is hard for a sort-of-depressed-looking dog to manage anyway. (My maternal instinct told me that she didn’t feel good.)
Today she threw up. (What’s that you say? You don’t want to read about throw up?)
And I cleaned it up. (See? That was painless.)
Then she threw up again. (Seriously, it bothers you to read about this?)
And she ate it before I could clean it up. (Oh, come on! Like you haven’t done that!)
Then she threw up again. (OK, just hang on. I’m almost to the important part.)
I got to her before she went back for seconds and put her away. When I went back to clean it up, I noticed that inside the gooey doggy yark was a four-inch-long piece of rope from one of her chew toys. The rope is at least an inch in diameter. The rope was in one piece. (Unfortunately, I couldn’t find my camera with my hands full of goopy throw up, or I’d prove it. I would have taken the picture of the rope next to a ruler. You’ll just have to take my word for it.)
Two hours later, she pooped out another two-inch piece of rope. (If you’re so disgusted, why are you still reading this?)
Strangely, she seems to be feeling much better. (What? You don’t feel like eating now? Ever again?)
While this was all happening, I was on the phone with my friend Kathy (Have I ever mentioned my superior multi-tasking abilities?) and she told me about the time her elderly grandpa made a startling noise and then hocked a giant loogie right onto the ground. (Did you know that you can look up the correct spelling and meaning of “loogie” in Wikipedia?)
Her dog immediately ran over and ate it right up. (What? Couldn’t you see that one coming from a mile away?)
Anyway, just thought you’d like to know.
