According to the calendar, today is National Fail Miserably Day again! So let loose—embrace disaster, let the clothes sit in the washer, burn your dinner, and bounce a check.
Though it could be said with more eloquence, the idea today is that we’re going to fight back against the messages that tell us that it’s perfection or bust. That our value is determined by what we do and how perfectly we do it. That we’re not quite good enough as we are.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have a problem with self-improvement or reaching a little higher. I’m all for it most of the time. But every now and then, I think it’s appropriate to stop wherever we are and practice a little self-acceptance. To stop running from the attributes in ourselves we loathe and give them a moment to shine. To dress up in failure and embrace what it has to teach us, cause I’m telling you—it ain’t all bad.
To steal from my own words on this day last year:
I tried to be perfect for a long time, but eventually I couldn’t keep up with my culture’s standards of perfection, not to mention my own. In my mind, there was an endless list of Things I Should Be Doing Much, Much Better if I’m Ever Going to Amount to Anything. As soon as I felt I’d mastered one thing, I filled its spot with six new things that I completely sucked at. I was running ragged, barely one step ahead of my worst fear: Failure.
Eventually, and despite my best efforts, failure caught up with me. And instead of being consumed in its blackness, I was brought to life by its vivid colors. I had been wrong—perfection was the blackness, a strict black line with no time or room for such frivolities as laughter, exploration, or even oxygen.
It’s the same idea that makes a beautiful teenage girl look in the mirror with disgust. It’s the same idea that causes my brilliant husband to think that at any moment someone is going to come and inform him that he’s been kicked out of graduate school because he’s just not bright enough. It’s the same idea that leaves a mother feeling inadequate because the house is messy more often than it’s not. It’s the same idea that keeps us from trying anything new or taking any risks, because (as if it isn’t obvious, right?) we’re not good at stuff like that.
Today I give myself permission to do the following:
*Aim for average
*Eat without checking calories and fat content
*Misspell
*Leave the bed unmade
*Admit that I leave the bed unmade most days
*Fart around my friends
*Let the garbage pile up
*Acknowledge my silly fears
*Give people a break
*Leave my blinker on
*Admit my mistakes
*Say no without explaining myself
*Use a stinky dishrag
*Live with low expectations
*Accept myself and loved ones exactly as we are. Right now. As if we would never change at all.
And because every worthy campaign needs a poster child, I volunteer myself right now. Fresh from my morning walk without makeup or a brush; knowing that sometimes putting my best foot forward means showing myself exactly as I am.
So here I am. This is me. And you are you. And we’re good enough.
How will you celebrate today?
What a great idea– sign me up! I will celebrate by acknowledging that, no matter how hard I try, I will not get my students’ quizzes graded today. And I will understand that the world won’t fall apart when that happens. Why is that such a hard lesson to learn– why do we beat ourselves up so much?
Thank you, thank you! Although I kinda think yesterday should have been my fail miserably day. But today, I will celebrate by making my favorite huge pasta dinner that has lots of calories, have oreos and milk for dessert, watch at least 3 hours of TV after work, and probably not submit my classwork like I had planned. Sounds like an awesome day!
Today I will celebrate by staying in my soft pj bottoms and oversized jazz sweatshirt. My hair will remain pulled up in a very quick, yet lazy bun on top of my head. I will not exersice and I will watch lots of tv including the new PRICE IS RIGHT and a re-run of Grey’s Anatomy on the web. And to add to my commitment I will post a blog describing my other celebrations.
Thanks Tiff I needed this TODAY. I still remember how liberating it felt to do it last year.
Can’t celebrate by leaving papers all over my desk, because the reality is that I haven’t seen the surface of my desk for MONTHS.
Can’t celebrate by leaving my cupboards in disarray, because they already look like a tornado hit them.
But! I can and will order whipped cream on my mocha, and not return e-mails promptly, and ignore my to-do list. This might just be my favorite day ever!
oh crap. i have already folded the laundry today. BUT i will leave it out in honor of this day. okay, i leave it out every week. but hey…let’s celebrate! i got a box of oreos and a gallon of milk…yum!
Oh, great. National Fail Miserably Day falls on the week of my first finals in my MBA program. Now I’m really freaked out!
National Fail Miserable Day?? This is NOT good Tiff. But, I guess since there is nothing I can do about it and the day has already been designated, it will be OK if I throw up during my talk tonight or stumble through the whole thing. Man! My nerves really didn’t need this. I’ll just have to remind my audience what day this is! Gulp.
Unfortunatly, I have stuff that absolutly has to be done today, so can’t really celebrate in the traditional way. But, I will look in the mirror and tell myself that I don’t have to be the tallest, curviest, prettiest girl, and that I don’t have to have a boyfriend, or wear $80 jeans and a new outfit every day to be a good person. I’ll tell myself that it’s ok to leave my room messy sometimes and that I don’t need a car and lots of money to have friends. Happy Fail Miserably Day! (p.s. I’m Tiff’s teenage niece, in case you were wondering.)
How wonderful to know that my awful day at work isn’t simply a coincidence; it was fate, and me stepping up to the plate of failure. Wheee!
Although I think I might have unwittingly celebrated this charming holiday yesterday, I would like to put in for an extention ’til Saturday. Against the better judgment of my 17 year-old self, on Saturday I will be attending my 20th high school reunion — it would be an excellent twist of fate if everyone else failed miserably, while I have at least succeeded in becoming (and remaining) myself.
First, it’s so crazy how much you and James look alike (no, you don’t have masculine characteristics, you just came from the same parents).
Second, glad my crappy week at work is just me trying to fulfill this day of celebration…this National Fail Miserably Day. Ya!
first, who makes their bed every day? Seriously. I never even realized this was a failure of mine every day except when company comes over. Otherwise, I’m not sure how well I took advantage of this yesterday since I worked until 1030 pm………but I believe the person who delivered my dinner was celebrating because the small container of mayo burst open all over my veggie burger during transport. I don’t even like mayo. Otherwise, I believe I celebrate this holiday a little bit every day (in more ways than just failing to make my bed).
tiffany…tiff tiff tiff. i looooove your blog. love. i miss keeping up with you on a regular basis (stupid new job). just so you know…i dont think you could fail miserably at anything. you are hilarious and sweet, a wonderful writer and a great mom. and your kitchen is fantastic. and your junk drawers are something special.
Crap I really did fail miserably… I missed the whole day. What a great day to celebrate… Next year. I will celebrate today by eating a whole apple pie carmel apple from Rocky Mountain Chocolate MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm. I love this day.
Man you look great in the morning. i know you were probably trying to give us some shock and horror being the poster child and all, but really you look too good. Love the post. I’m on board.
Count me in. In fact, you know how they say you should keep Christmas in your heart all year? Well, unfortunately, I keep this holiday a little better all year round!
Well, today I feel like a winner because I’m in your sidebar picks … twice. Hurrah for ME!
Amy–thank you. I will mail your $20 bucks tomorrow.
i think every day is fail miserably day for me…when is succeed extraordinarily day? i need one of those.