If you’re having a party and you invite me, please don’t ask me to bring the rolls. You will be so disappointed.
Unless your party is the Utah Plumbers Convention. In that case, these are totally appropriate.
It doesn’t make any sense. I use the same frozen bread dough that everybody in Utah uses. I follow the same directions. It doesn’t matter, though; I always end up with hard little doughy balls of unfulfillment.
I swear my rolls are mocking me. I think they choose not to rise. They conspire against me, and wait giddily for my look of perpetual disappointment.
Ask me to bring the napkins or crushed ice. I’m good at that.
P.S. People who have glistening stainless steel muffin pans make me sick too.
Thanks for the effort Tiff. The dinner was amazing and so are you!
P.S.
Is this your subtle way of letting me know to not ask you to bring rolls next Saturday??
I miss rhodes rolls. We don’t have them out here. Or at least not where I have been able to find them. And my muffin pans are not glistening. And my mom once made these exact rolls (these could be a picture of them) for Thanksgiving and then hid them when my uncle brought over the fluffiest most beautiful rolls ever (he was a cook at Little America at the time). We still tease her about it.
I have problems with baking soda (powder?) too. I feel your pain.
Those Plumber-butt rolls are hilarious! I am sorry, though, because I know how disappointing it is to make something and have it not turn out.
What a fitting name. That is the first thing they reminded me of “butt” I was thinking…”I’m probably just being crude”. I’m glad you saw the same thing I did.
Ask Dad about my rolls for the first two years of our married life. Since we were so poor, instead of throwing them out, we would slice them and throw them in the toaster and eat them as toast…. very small, slightly round pieces of toast. Then Mary came to visit and I asked her to make rolls with me (it was her mother’s recipe I was using) and they turned out beautifully that day and every time after. I still don’t know what made the difference. Maybe they really do have attitude, and she whipped them into shape for me. If you don’t have Mary’s ph #, I’ll give it to you.
I have dumped many a baked good down my kitchen sink in madness/sadness at my best efforts. I too have given up on rolls. I buy the Pillsbury frozen ones, just heat and eat. No muffin tins needed. Your bread butts gave me a good chuckle though. I would be interested in Lindy Lou’s roll recipe if you’re passing it around!
They look a little beegeega to me…
Your post is hilarious. The last time I tried to do Rhodes rolls they turned out the exact same way, plumber bum and all. I still ate them. I don’t know why I can’t make them work. But seriously, they work for everyone else.