Dude. This week is not going as planned. I’m sitting here, having just finished my fifteenth hour of work today, and looking forward to probably two more if I’m really speedy. Ah, life as a freelancer!
Unfortunately, because this blog doesn’t pay my bills or send me e-mails asking for major revisions at the last minute, I can ignore it as needed. But I wish it were that simple. I think of this blog as sort of the e-child I never had, and in the same way I feel guilty when I completely neglect my human children, I develop a horrible, nagging feeling when I haven’t posted for a while. I fear that if I fail to post, I’ll leave some poor soul trapped in a cubicle without the one non-work-related distraction they needed that day. And I’m not just talking about all those folks at my former workplace. (Hi everybody!) I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Anyway, as I was sitting here taking a quick break to inject more Red Bull into my forearm, I felt the familiar nag of my Failure to Blog Disorder and thought to myself (as I so often do), “What would Regis and Kelly do?”
And then it hit me: re-runs.
You know how sometimes you’re watching Regis and Kelly and it starts out all normal and chatty, and then you get a funny feeling because they aren’t talking about anything that is time-specific, and then as they start interviewing guests you realize that Kelly has changed her dress and her haircut in between every commercial and all the guests are talking about movies that came out four months ago and are already on DVD, and then all of the sudden you’re like, “Haaaaaaaaaay, something’s fishy!” and you realize that you’ve sort of been had by Big Daddy and Pippa, but still mildly entertained while it was happening? Well, that’s sort of what I’m aiming for here.
So, without further ado, I bring you the rest of my post today, which originally posted exactly one year ago on August 1, 2006:
Timmy: ….and thank you for my bike, and for my treehouse, and for baseball and for my best friend, Billy….
Rex: …. and thank you for trees and fire hydrants and mail carriers….and for frisbees and tennis balls and BACON–THANK YOU FOR BACON!….
Timmy: ….please help me at school to remember how to add nines and write the letter e the right direction….
Rex: ….please help me remember where I buried that steak bone and roller skate and the neighbor’s cat….
Timmy: ….and forgive me for calling Suzie a “stupid dummy head”…..
Rex: ….and forgive me for all the inappropriate sniffing….
Timmy: ….and help me tomorrow to be a better boy….
Rex: …..and help me tomorrow to only howl for the really, really important things….
Honestly, I could have come up with this idea a lot sooner if only I had a Gelman of my own. If Only I Had a Gelman of My Own—now that’s the name of a hit song if ever I heard one.