Dear Sprint,
Thank you for the thoughtful card you sent in the mail today. It was so timely and appreciated. I’ll be honest, there have been many moments during our four-year relationship when I have felt under-appreciated. When the bliss of the introductory offer wore off and my flip phone antennae broke, I had to wonder—where were you? Did you even care?
It seems the only communication we have anymore is a monthly e-mail telling me that you need another $150 bucks. You don’t ask about the kids or my job. Our relationship has really dwindled, and I’ll admit that I have talked once or twice to other competitors at those kiosks in the mall. They notice me when I walk by. They call out to me. I’ve never strayed from our contract, but it’s not because I haven’t thought about it. I’m a woman of my word. I’m also a woman who doesn’t have $400 to pay for our separation.
Before today, I had written our relationship off. I was planning simply to ride it out. It’s clear that we’ve grown apart. I’m not saying anyone is to blame–these things just happen. I was young when we hooked up, but we’re in different places now. Specifically, I am often in Midvale on Center Street, driving along having a pleasant conversation, and you leave me in silence. Honestly, how many times have I brought this up with you, only to be ignored?
And just when I thought there was nothing left between us, you go and do something totally out of the blue like this:
With a tender, vaguely personal note inside? In a blue faux-hand-written font?
And you got it from Hallmark?
Stop now, Sprint, just stop.
You had me at “hello”.
Wow! You didn’t know how good you had it!
You are so hilarious! . . . And you thought you lost your “funny.”
How touching that you have such a wonderful relationship with your phone company. Really that is sweet. I kind of want to burn mine to the ground. Hmm.
That’s soooo like Sprint, to suck up to you only when you are threatening to break-up. Don’t fall for his manipulative tricks and lies. Let me guess, did Sprint also tell you that when he dropped your calls he was just “really busy” at that time, and it won’t happen again. That sounds like something Sprint would say, Sprint and I have not been on speaking terms for years. If I were you I’d ask for all of your CD’s back and move on with a new relationship. I heard Verizon was cool and he was asking about you. He said he thinks you and Ryan are cute.
P.S. check out this site to get out of your lame-o contract http://www.celltradeusa.com
P.S.S. write back soon
Before you change the locks and fling Sprint’s wardrobe out the second story window, just remember this: the grass is not always greener. After Verizon repeatedly dropped my calls and then wouldn’t take mine (is one hour too long to wait on hold? Three days in a row?), overcharged me and then took me to collections, I lost that loving feeling. Now I’m back with Sprint, and happier than ever before… but a certain iPhone is making eyes at me, and my heart is going pitter-patter. Don’t tell Sprint!
PS: I found you via Food Musings, and I’ve been greatly enjoying your posts!
We never get love notes from Verizon. Just cold-hearted stares from their associates in those strip mall stores. You know the type, the ones who actually graduated from Radio Shack. The ones who can rattle off the fine print from a 2-year agreement like an auctioneer at a foreclosure sale. They have no humor, they have no soul. This was proven just last week. While taking my daughter to the restroom during a Chucky Cheese birthday party, my wife managed to drop her phone IN THE TOILET!!! Fortunately it was before my daughter did what she was in there to do. When the phone hit bottom she saw the camera flash go off. (I was hoping to retrieve a photo of my wife’s shocked face from the murky depths, but alas). After attempting to dry it out, the displays still were fogging up. What did alleviate the fogging was putting the defroster on high heat in my truck during my hour-long commute and putting it up there. The trick is to keep it turning, rotisserie-style. At lunchtime I headed out to Verizon to tell them this hilarious story. This was all amusing until they noted I did not purchase the insurance and we still have 10-months to go on the 2-year agreement. I asked if they could at least retrieve the pictures (especially the last one). They were kind of busy, so while I was waiting, I put the battery back on it and miracle of miracles, the phone worked! The Verizon rep was kind of shocked, kind of ticked (the latter because he no longer had me over the proverbial barrel). So, tell all your friends about the defroster rotisserie trick. It’s just my way of sticking it to the Man.
Man, I wish Verizon would appreciate me, even just a little. The coolest thing that a company ever did for me was the Spree Candy Company. A few years ago I bought some chewy sprees from a vending machine. In the bag I got what I bought and a bonus, all of the orange ones were the hard original kind, they were not chewy in the least. Well, I thought it was my civic duty to inform the company. So I wrote a short note, included the package (after I ate them all) and thought nothing more. A few weeks later, I came home a giant package filled with a thank you note and a case of chewy sprees. I wonder what would happen if I wrote Honda to tell them my cd player broke.
I love your blog! You do have your funny back. Luv Leslie’s friend, Corrie in OH