Thank you for the thoughtful card you sent in the mail today. It was so timely and appreciated. I’ll be honest, there have been many moments during our four-year relationship when I have felt under-appreciated. When the bliss of the introductory offer wore off and my flip phone antennae broke, I had to wonder—where were you? Did you even care?
It seems the only communication we have anymore is a monthly e-mail telling me that you need another $150 bucks. You don’t ask about the kids or my job. Our relationship has really dwindled, and I’ll admit that I have talked once or twice to other competitors at those kiosks in the mall. They notice me when I walk by. They call out to me. I’ve never strayed from our contract, but it’s not because I haven’t thought about it. I’m a woman of my word. I’m also a woman who doesn’t have $400 to pay for our separation.
Before today, I had written our relationship off. I was planning simply to ride it out. It’s clear that we’ve grown apart. I’m not saying anyone is to blame–these things just happen. I was young when we hooked up, but we’re in different places now. Specifically, I am often in Midvale on Center Street, driving along having a pleasant conversation, and you leave me in silence. Honestly, how many times have I brought this up with you, only to be ignored?
And just when I thought there was nothing left between us, you go and do something totally out of the blue like this:
With a tender, vaguely personal note inside? In a blue faux-hand-written font?
And you got it from Hallmark?
Stop now, Sprint, just stop.
You had me at “hello”.