Years ago I read a magazine article about a woman who gave birth on her bathroom floor without any knowledge that she had been pregnant. This story was not featured in Star Magazine or The National Enquirer next to the story about the alien who crawled out of the Pope’s hat. This story was in a real, hard-news, no-nonsense publication. Like People.
Anyway, the lady was short, around 5′2″, with a small frame and a small waist. She had gained a pesky ten pounds that she couldn’t seem to get off, and experienced a lot of what she thought was indigestion. Then boom–one day, right before her son’s tee ball game, she went into the bathroom not feeling well and came out with a baby boy.
I still remember how the article featured a diagram of how she could have held the baby in there without showing or knowing it was there. The little baby figure was nestled in there above her appendix and resting its head on her pancreas. Oh, and if you’re wondering about her periods, she still had them!
Needless to say, that story has haunted me for years. Somewhere in the recesses of my slumbering mind, this became one of my most favorite Unlikely Things to Fear. I am not kidding you when I say that on more than one (or seventy-six) occasions, I have been in the bathroom and the thought has grabbed hold of me. I have wondered, “Am I going to give birth to a secret fetus here? Have I really been pregnant for nine months without knowing?”
I know what you’re thinking and you’re probably right—I need more fiber.
Seriously, though, aren’t we afraid of the strangest things? My list of Unlikely Things to Fear also includes (in no particular order) being eaten by a dog, kidnapped and held hostage by a mountain man, and being buried alive under earthquake rubble. (Good thing I don’t live along a fault-line long overdue for a major quake. Whew!) And let’s not forget this little gem: bird flu.
So, I’m wondering—what unlikely things are you afraid of?
