Back in October when I quit my job and began working from home, I decided to start walking early in the morning with Mrs. Smith and another neighbor. I wanted to stay on a get-up-early schedule in order to avoid remaining in my pajamas until dinner. This plan worked marvelously until the weeks passed and the air got colder and colder and slowly areas of my face and ears froze and fell off during our walks. And looking for body parts in the snow gets old fast.
I took the winter off. And most of spring. (And did I stay in my pajamas until dinner? No. I changed before I went to the Wendy’s Drive-Thru for lunch. Well, my shirt at least.)
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to start walking again. This decision was influenced by the fact that working from home (and so close to my fridge) has caused a physiological reaction scientists refer to as “weight gain”. My rump roast is too big for the pan, if you know what I mean.
Years ago, Ryan and I did Faux Weight Watchers. His mom had joined and we used all of her information and books to guide us through our own diet. I even made a counterfeit point-counter with the Xerox machine at work and a little scotch tape. I think the only thing we missed out on by not officially joining was the chance to have a stranger weigh us every week. I, for one, would have really enjoyed that.
But after a sobering moment in a dressing room a few weeks ago, I knew it was time to start counting points again and moving my body further than from the couch to the chair. I need to be a little stricter with myself and the constant flow of food into my mouth. No more pretending that a little entire cake here and there doesn’t count. No more random gallons of ice cream. No more drinking fry sauce. No more accidentally swallowing a cube of butter. No more stealing Max’s fries when he’s not looking. No more eating Max’s uneaten chicken nuggets. Or all of his chicken nuggets. No more taking Max’s m&m’s. No more polishing off his pizza or noodles to save strain on the garbage disposal. No more keeping his ice cream from dripping by eating it down to the cone. No more fighting him for the suckers they give out at the bank, even if they’re Cream Soda flavored. In fact, I should be more like Max—whithered and sullen with sunken cheeks. It’s a totally hot look right now.
And now that the weather has taken a turn for the better, walking in the mornings has been glorious. I’ve got everything down to a routine, so that I can get up, pee, change my clothes, tie my shoes, and walk half-way down the street before even opening my eyes. Once I’m awake, I really enjoy that time. I love the morning air. I love the quiet street. I love chatting with my pal. I love almost being run over by the lady in the green van. It’s truly the greatest way to start the day.
You know, besides sleeping in.
