The annual WBWG Casual Christmas Extravaganza was held last night. The food was de-lish, the poems were breathtaking, and the company was the best. Here are a couple of homework assignments from last month:
An Ensign Thanksgiving
Gratitude & Gluttony
by Anita Goodman
You don’t have to let your holiday become a celebration of one of the 7 deadly sins.
I remember the crisp autumn mornings of Thanksgiving days of my youth. I would wake up to the smell of a turkey baking in the oven that my father had carefully prepared at an early 6:00 a.m.. Pies and rolls were prepared the previous day in preparation for this one special day of the year. These are the happy memories. Or—are they? Fast forward the clock a few more hours on this same day and the memories morph into the sound of moaning, unfastened belt buckles, and of course, regrets. How oft I remember hearing the words, “I ate too much pie” as we would drift off into a turkey-induced coma.
It seems in our world of overindulgence we have lost what our holidays really mean. If we are to truly “give thanks” on the fourth Thursday in November, we would be wise to turn the tables. Here are some ideas for your family to turn the tables on “Gluttony Day” and turn it truly into a day of giving thanks:
The most important thing you could do is give up the big stomach-ache-inducing meal by replacing it with a meal “prepared with simpleness of heart” such as bread and milk. For an even more spiritual experience that old and young family members could participate in, use this day as a special day of fast.
If you still feel that the worldly big dinner is still in order, be sure to have an extra long blessing on the food and then spend time during the meal showing pictures of the starving people in Africa, so that your family will be truly grateful.
You could also replace all the large dinner plates with small pie plates so family members will be likely to take less food than they normally would. As the hostess, you can also announce the calories, fat, and carbs when each family member puts something on their plate.
You can still make the meal fun by renaming the items on the menu. For instance, the mashed potatoes made with cream and butter could be accompanied by a small sign on the bowl that says, “heart attack in a bowl” and on the turkey, “former living bird”.
I recommend trying one or more of these ideas to make your day of “Giving Thanks” the most memorable ever.
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Newsweek’s Congressional Thanksgiving Report
by C. Cole, on assignment
An early Thanksgiving dinner was celebrated by both houses of Congress on November 9. The new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, planned the menu while cooking guru Rachael Ray was flown in to prepare the feast.
Beautiful individual silver platters of stuffed turkey well-basted in champagne and lard were hand-served by an especially elite group of lobbyists to our Democratic constituents.
The Republican constituents were also given the bird, but of a different kind. Rachael prepared Cajun blackened crow with a side dish of sour pickle dressing. This unique cuisine was also hand-served on individual recycled pizza boxes by an elite group of little people form Barnum & Bailey.
I am told the Republicans retired early. Actually, many had to be hospitalized for a stomach illness. The FBI has immediately taken on the investigation as to Ms. Ray’s cooking credentials and to determine if any conspiracy was involved.
As for the Democrats, it is rumored that they are still sucking on old turkey bones in their individual offices.
