Welcome and thanks for coming. Things have been a little loosey-goosey the past couple of weeks as we all settle into our respective positions here at the office, and while I want to maintain an enjoyable atmosphere, I’d like to lay down a few ground rules to keep things running smoothly.
- From now on, there is a 2 Gogurt maximum per employee. We’ve got to keep our expenses in mind, and Gogurt doesn’t grow on trees.
- As your boss, I care about both of you very, very much, but that does not mean we can share the same chair all day.
- Sometimes it’s hard to know what to bother the boss with, and when to leave her alone. I’ve created a quick reference list for you to print out and keep near your workspace.
- Things that can probably wait a bit: A great Spongebob scene, a missing Buzz Lightyear, asking for a third Gogurt, asking if we can go to Target, asking if I’m almost done, asking if Warren Sapp was a good high school player, asking what day of the week it is, asking if you can base jump from the roof, asking if I think the Jazz have a chance to make it to the playoffs, asking if I can fix Spiderman’s arm, asking if I can keep your brother from biting you, asking if I know what 84 minus 23 is, asking if we can go to McDonalds, asking for a ninth Gogurt.
- Things that cannot wait: Someone is choking or the house is on fire.
Thank you for your attendance. Now, let’s get out there and have a successful week!