I’m pretty even-tempered. Accidentally step on my toe and you’ll find that I maintain my mood fairly well. I’ll probably even apologize to you for having my toe in the way.
Occaisionally, however, a bad mood strikes. I’m not sure how often, it’s pretty random. Probably like once every 28 days or something completely unsystematic like that.
My mood today started at about 3:18 a.m. in which I was having a terrible dream. Ryan was screaming at me in my dream and threatening violence(!), which came as a total shock, even in dream world. What made matters worse was that he was screaming at me in front of our twelve year-old neighborhood babysitter who was MORTIFIED. And I subsequently was CONFUSED and MORTIFIED. And, also, why was that reindeer flying over our heads the whole time??
I asked Ryan this morning if he’d like to apologize for the way he treated me in my dream last night.
“Sure” he said.
“Thank you,” I said, “You were a real jerk.”
The second part of my foul mood probably has something to do with the fact that my head feels like a 50 pound sack of Idaho russett potatoes. Make that Idaho russett potatoes with thick, rusty nails sticking out of them.
Thirdly (and please don’t question whether “thirdly” is a word) I made two batches of mint oreo rice krispy treats for a luncheon at work today. Here are the comments about my rice krispy treats:
“Oooh. Scary.”
“Yikes.”
“Are these moldy rice krispy treats?”
“What are these? Rice krispy treats with pesto sauce?”
I have to admit, that last one was pretty good and didn’t offend me because good comedy transcends my feelings. But, let me tell you something about my Super Fantastic Mint Oreo Rice Krispy Treats: that rough edge where I cut them apart is going to damage your cornea when I hurl one at your face. You should be so lucky to have one of my SFMORKTs.
Fourthly, I would like to tattoo “I need to be smacked!” on the foreheads of a handful of people of various names for various reasons, but dammit if I can’t find my tattoo kit and invisible cloak! Where did I put those?
So, there you have it. An example of a perfectly rotten day in the life of Me. Please don’t bring up the fact that there are starving children in the world and civil unrest, because this is Day 28, baby, and I’ve got a spare rice krispy treat in my hand.
