I see him and I think of Megan.
I want him to remember me.
I want him to remember playing with Megan.
I want him to crawl into my lap, like Megan did, and
I want him to guard the pantry door like he did when Megan wanted to play with HIS broom.
I want him to squeeze my cheeks together and kiss me like Megan did.
I want him to miss her like I do.
I want him to comfort me because he knows I hurt.
But, that’s so much to ask of a 2 year old.
Too much for him to understand.
Too much for me to expect.
So, I will be content to watch him crawl into his moms lap
or reach for her finger to lead her somewhere.
I will enjoy the vision of parenting
from a distance and my heart will…. someday…. heal.