I am playing the Daylight Savings Card this morning, to explain my 18 minute tardiness, and the fact that my alarm clock went off for an entire hour without my noticing. I would have been no more surprised if I had woken up having given birth to a tortoise, which, oddly enough, happened as well.
So, it’s Tuesday morning and my internal clock is completely messed up. I’m craving dinner and my 18-hour bra thinks it only has three hours left. Actually, I don’t have an 18-hour bra, but I can’t express to you how much confusion that generated for me as a child. I mean, what happens after 18 hours??? The bra disappears? Disentigrates? Turns into a pumpkin? I couldn’t understand why anyone would spend money on a bra that would spontaneously combust upon the bust in less than a day? Come to think of it–I still don’t understand the theory behind the 18-hour bra, do you? Please, let me know.
I think I got confused a lot as a kid. I was completely mesmerized by that old Snickers commercial, in which the screen is filled with a hand holding a handful of fresh roasted peanuts. The fist closes and then opens to reveal a crisply packaged Snickers bar! Imagine my disappointment when I finally got my hands on some peanuts. I closed. I opened. I stared in disbelief. I tried again. What a crock!
Then, when I was a young adolescent, I could not figure out the uproar regarding the Youth In Asia. Why was everybody so upset about a bunch of teenagers on the other side of the globe? Were they breaking curfew? Dying their hair? Smoking? I know they totally dress in mis-matching clothes, but was that really reason enough for people to kill themselves??
So, dear reader, what confused you as a kid? Or was I the only one wandering around waiting for people’s bras to blow up?