I am playing the Daylight Savings Card this morning, to explain my 18 minute tardiness, and the fact that my alarm clock went off for an entire hour without my noticing. I would have been no more surprised if I had woken up having given birth to a tortoise, which, oddly enough, happened as well.
So, it’s Tuesday morning and my internal clock is completely messed up. I’m craving dinner and my 18-hour bra thinks it only has three hours left. Actually, I don’t have an 18-hour bra, but I can’t express to you how much confusion that generated for me as a child. I mean, what happens after 18 hours??? The bra disappears? Disentigrates? Turns into a pumpkin? I couldn’t understand why anyone would spend money on a bra that would spontaneously combust upon the bust in less than a day? Come to think of it–I still don’t understand the theory behind the 18-hour bra, do you? Please, let me know.
I think I got confused a lot as a kid. I was completely mesmerized by that old Snickers commercial, in which the screen is filled with a hand holding a handful of fresh roasted peanuts. The fist closes and then opens to reveal a crisply packaged Snickers bar! Imagine my disappointment when I finally got my hands on some peanuts. I closed. I opened. I stared in disbelief. I tried again. What a crock!
Then, when I was a young adolescent, I could not figure out the uproar regarding the Youth In Asia. Why was everybody so upset about a bunch of teenagers on the other side of the globe? Were they breaking curfew? Dying their hair? Smoking? I know they totally dress in mis-matching clothes, but was that really reason enough for people to kill themselves??
So, dear reader, what confused you as a kid? Or was I the only one wandering around waiting for people’s bras to blow up?
You’re not alone.
Wait……this is not a tribute to Michael McLean!
In Primary I used to sing the following:
I hope they call me on a mission
When I have grown a butt or two
………….
Teach me all that I’m a stude, to live with Him someday.
………….
What’s a ’stude’?
I also watched Cookie Monster eat a bicycle once. I bit the frame on my bike really hard and ….. OUCH! Son-of-a….
primary was also hard for me. I wanted to know what a “Shallmenno” was as in “As I have loved you. . . by this shallmenno [shall men know], ye are my disciples.”
I was also constantly confused by the Presidents of the United States and the Prophets of the church. Honestly, John Taylor and John Tyler and Woodrow Wilson and Wilford Woodruff!! How was I supposed to understand?
As for the 18-hour bra, this still confuses me. Who wants to wear a bra for 18 hours? I get home and the first thing I remove are my shoes and second is the bra. I guess I just like freedom.
Your the greatest. I love reading the on line “stuff”. Wish I new everyone’s names so I could talk to you personally. Thanks again for your time. Mrs. Potts