1. Arrive late to work. I don’t know why, but it makes the day go by faster.
2. Reboot computer. (This should kill about 6 or 7 minutes.)
3. Think about what to have for lunch.
4. Make a list of things you might want to have for lunch.
5. Narrow lunch list down to 7.
6. Alphabetize lunch list.
7. Cross off the two most fattening options. (Who needs guilt on a Friday?)
8. Cross off the two healthiest options. (Who needs discipline on a Friday?)
9. Write your three remaining options on separate post-it notes and place them side-by-side on the wall furthest from your chair.
10. Gather small items at your desk (paper clips, pens, bottles of lotion, pictures of your family) and toss them at the three post-it notes on the wall. The first option to be hit 25 times has now been eliminated.
11. Remove eliminated post-it note and begin instruction #10 again, in order to eliminate another choice.
12. Pick up small objects off the floor.
13. Order lunch.
14. Eat lunch.
15. Think about what you’d like for a snack.
Okay, I got you through half your day and now I’m completely exhausted. If you want the other half shortened, you are going to have to do it yourself. I’m not your mother.